The Cat's Outta the Bag

Well, I officially outed myself on facebook. Until now I wasn't sure I wanted everybody to know that I have Lyme disease, since sometimes I feel like the "cootie girl." But when I get discouraged about everything that's going on, it helps me to think that perhaps I might help someone else avoid the same experience by sharing my experience with others. If you're reading this and you didn't know that I have Lyme, surprise! I contracted Lyme disease in 2003 while I spent six weeks with my mom in New England and got bit by a tick. Since then I have had mysterious symptoms, personality changes and debilitating illness which got continually worse until I finally got a diagnosis and started treatment in January 2009.

While Lyme is an extremely complex illness, it's highly preventable and very easy to treat in early stages. If you'd like to learn more about protecting yourself and your family, you can read through my post An Ounce of Prevention. I really hope in sharing this information I might be able to help someone avoid the suffering and frustration that this illness can cause. I started this blog with the idea that I wanted to keep a record of this journey for myself. But I'm hoping that in the process I can hopefully help others.

I've been on treatment for a year now, and sometimes I get really discouraged because I'm not better. When this happens, I have to remind myself that at the outset I was told that I would probably need to be on treatment for several years. It's a long process and I think that's why sometimes I feel overwhelmed. Tonight I was in such bad pain that I couldn't get comfortable. For the past three days I've had severe pain in my chest, along the joints that attach your ribs to your sternum. This morning I woke up with additional pain in the tiny joints in the bones across the top of my left foot, literally feeling as if I had broken my foot sometime during the night. I have also been really off balance this week, having to catch myself on counters, door jams or furniture to keep from falling. Coupled with the grinding fatigue which is an almost daily battle, sometimes it gets to be almost too much to bear.

I am so blessed to have Bryan, who is so patient and kind to me. Tonight he rubbed my foot with muscle rub, then ibuprofen cream, then helped me prop it up in bed so I could try to get comfortable. With the muscle rub on my chest too, I know I stink of menthol, but he says he doesn't mind. I found my rice packs and heated several up in the microwave, and they are helping a lot. One great thing is that I had tons of energy today, which was so NICE. I don't mean to come across as complaining. I recognize there are worse things, AND that I'm extremely lucky to finally have been diagnosed and getting treatment. I'm trying really hard to battle against discouragement and depression, and I'm lucky to have wonderful people in my life who help me do that. It has also helped to try to stay as busy as possible when I am able to. Life is an adventure with lots of challenges, and I think this is the biggest one I've ever faced.